Winging it

My good friend and tormentor, Nora has flown back in from that hell hole of a country she's been seconded to, for a few days of non stop mindless meetings here, and has decided that instead of being civilised and go out for drinks at a reasonable hour, she wants to do so NOW, now being 12.30 am. Well she's driven, that I'll admit!

I told her to go home, and that I was in bed and I'd see her tomorrow ... 'biaotch' .. is the response I get from her via sms. Charming as always I think, it seems the closer your friends are, the ruder the name calling heh heh! I send her a rude remark in reply and she calls me up,

"I'm coming over now to pick you up and we're going out" she growls at me.
"forget it mate, I'm not going anywhere at the time of night" I growl back (we growl very well as both of us have very low voices)
" Listen D, you're the one person I always make sure I see when I come back and I'm not sure how much time I'll have in the next few days and so we're going" she says
"Then make the time tomorrow you twat !" I respond, a load of expletives ensue from the other side of the phone.. even more charming I think ( I do love her to bits and this is our usual way of hostile negotiations!)

Ten minutes later she storms into my home, hurls some not so motherly advise to my eldest who lets admit it, is a rebellious adult, for want of a more polite way of explaining the late teen years.. oh yeah.. you all know the feeling. She rapid fire goes through all the things he's done in the last couple of months since she's seen him, presses some money into his hand to go get a hair cut (what an incentive eh...) and then literally frog marches me out the front door and bundles me into her SUV and says "drive!" (like I said... hostile negotiations!)

I hoist myself into the drivers seat, she pumps up the volume in the ahh.. not so pimp mobile, and says "lets go karaoke!" (don't you all start groaning ok!.. we LOVE to Karaoke! and we're not afraid to admit it!)
"Nora, it's almost 1 a.m, and everything will be shut around here", I remark, as she starts to give me instructions to go into town.
" Ok Ok" she concedes, "lets go to the burbs and see if the pub is open, should have live gigs there."
I u-turn the wanna be Dr Dre truck and we hip hop it till we arrive at the Pub. She finally notices I've cut my hair... "um it's cool, but I still prefer your long hair.." she says with her usual brand of honesty. "Thanks buddy, I still like your poofy hair too... " I grin at her, She gives me a dirty look and calls me another name, smiles and we head in to the Pub.

The Pub is on it's last call for drinks, we manage to get a round and head for the pool tables, I'm totally a spaz when it comes to Pool, unlike Nora, who loves to compete and pretend she's a Pool shark... my friends.. what can I say.

When she's finally had enough of playing Pool, (I think it's more enough of playing against me... I'm so utterly ka ka at the game!) we hunker down and catch up, I tell her I'm going to Australia to go have a "working vacation" .
"What the heck is that D" she asks me
"Well Stash wants me to come down and have a look at some possible business ventures with her and to look around the area she's in as a possible place to move to" I explain
"Ah.. OK.. I still think you'll end up in NZ.   She stands up, grabs me in a hug and says "c'mon lets go eat... I so miss the food here".

We have a pleasant supper, I outline my plans for the next few months, Nora is relieved I'm back to work and getting it together, she's always been there even if it's to shout at me about the "realities" of life. Sometimes you do need to be checked, even better if it's by someone you admire and one who has a good head on her shoulders. She benevolently loads me off at home, and with a cheeky grin , bids me goodnight. I never know when I'm going to see her again, it could be tomorrow or the next few months, but it's always good to catch up with her no matter how little or much time we have, good friends know the difference between quality time and quantity time, and the cow made me think of NZ again... bugger.
Dx

New Year's Eve

Where are you tubs?! shouts James down the phone.
"I'm at home man" "where else would I be! he he he!" I reply.
James says " hey, you forgot you were supposed to be with us tonight for New Years Eve"
I say "after all the crapola that has happened to me in the last couple of days, I really don't feel like heading out, I'm perfectly happy here drinking champagne and talking to M on line!"
"No way am I going to let you celebrate alone at home, Andy is going to be coming by in a bit I'll get him to pick you up on the way!" James says
"James it's already 11.30pm, there is no way I'll be there on time, go ahead an party on " I say, sipping more bubbly and grinning.
"No tubs, you're coming over and that's that. Get ready and we'll see you in a bit" are James' parting words as he rings off.

I look at M on our skype video call, and we both giggle, "oh well D, guess you're going out mate!" she says. "well if I'm going so are you, I'm bringing the damn laptop along!" I hiccup merrily! "eeekkk " says M, "NO thanks!" "go on and have a great time, I'll catch you later!" "OK" I slur back, "I'll be back for your NYE countdown !" M is 7 hours behind my time line, so I can go out party, and be back in time to party more with her!! PERFECT!

Andy calls up and says he's waiting to take me to the venue, I'm laughing as I know that the only way we will  make it for the countdown is if we had a time machine!( and since I haven't built mine yet...)  My kids  call me as soon as Andy speeds off into the night, taking us closer and closer into the twilight zone! I realise it's gone past 12 midnight when Andy says "hey D, Happy New Year!" I grin at him and all I can do is pat his arm, as he's driving and the kids are still on the phone and wish him back.

At approximately 12.07 am we arrive at the venue and Jeff, who's James son is waiting for us outside, once he's bear hugged Andy, he grabs me off my feet, swings me around and laughs out "I'm going to carry you in D!"
"Put me down " I squeal to no avail, I enter back first, two feet off the ground into the party, and get smacked, tapped, pinched, patted and finally put down in front of the table that was heaving with drinks and many many merry faces!

James begins to put the obligatory party favours on top and around me, and eventually I look like a Christmas tree gone wrong, but as it's New Years Eve, it's actually pretty right! he he he. The music swells and they are playing our songs, everyone stomps off onto the dance floor the waiters are standing in shock at the flailing of arms and feet! More drinks are pressed into my hands, and I'm taking tons of pictures, so much so that I've captured the entire sequence of James and his boys dunking his daughter's boyfriend into a bath, yes a claw foot bath on the side of the dance floor, that was filled up with ice and left over drinks!

A couple of hours later, everyone said "right! we're off," and Andy whisks me off back home and deposits me in one piece at my doorstep, a little more inebriated that when I left, but happy.
I stagger to bed and somehow manage to wake up at 6 am, flip on the skype and count down the New Year with M online !! two celebrations in one day! I'm time traveling to the max!

An hour later, I give up and tell M I have to go to bed as my eyes were closing on their own, bid her a great New Year and crashed out!
The last thought I had was that I'm so grateful and lucky that I've got such a bunch of wonderful wonderful friends who love and cherish me. Bring on 2009 it's going to be Fandabidozi!
Dx

O X doo

Ahh the Bash on Friday.. welll ... sigh.. I think there was definitely very much of too muchness if you know what I mean! You don't? Ok well here goes...

I had three men with me, Carl, Ian my gay friend whom I asked first and his partner Rick (Rick is a very colonial Englishman.. who happens to know my dad.. imagine a very plummy voice, velvet dinner jacket and that's Rick).

The hosts really threw on a show for the party, they had dancers decked out in glittery outfits and feathers dancing on stage in the theme colour of the party which was.. uh.. PINK AND BLACK.., they had the Emcee's (whom were both former Miss Malaysia's .. ah.. well the recent ones...heh) get driven to the stage on two massive Harley's. They had men on stilts walking around and entertaining the guests, they had two stages on either side of the ballroom with bands playing and flanked on either sides of the walls were different food stations for the guests. So there was a vast variety of food. Champagne was in your face as well as some of the people.

Of course walking in with Carl, caused a stir, a good looking actor with cheek bones so sharp you could cut glass on them, a cheeky smile and roving eyes that got tongues a wagging, some old gossips came up to us and said, "is this your boyfriend?" I look to Carl with an amused smile (we were actually very good friends, and have been from the first time we met which was on a shoot I had booked him for, a few years back ) and say,
" Are you my boyfriend?" and Carl, who's eyes have stopped roving and were now locked and loaded on an exotic asian actress behind old trout face who posed the question, just says "yess.." (he goes into acting mode when not paying attention) and the gossips go all twittery and do the 'oh how wonderful' bit as I look at Carl and hiss
"why the hell did you say that..?"
He's Like "What? What?.. "I didn't hear you?"
I said,"yeah I know, cause you've just said you're my boyfriend and that's going spread faster than a bush fire in OZ mate...." geezzz.

The night carries on, I catch up with my old radio colleague , we're cackling away, watching in amusement as Carl flits about, comes back and forth, for a drink and a taste of the food. Singers, composers , you name it, all the industry people are there, I end up at the island bar in the ballroom with Ian, Carl and lan's girl pal Jacqs.

Carl and I are having a conversation about our future and where we're heading as he props himself at the bar and I lean on him , I'm telling him about my intention to go to NZ and he's asking me why, (geezz everyone does, it's always WHY NZ? why not OZ?) so I'm explaining,
when he says, "well D, I'm Australian, you can always marry me, the process takes a year and it will help you get into NZ without a hitch"
I'm looking at Carl.. "seriously mate....."
and he's like " no, I mean it, I can help... plus you're easy on the eye.. we'd have fun together." I roll my eyes, however, as we're having this discussion, Rick, who's been evesdripping, gets the wrong end of the stick because he hears the "Marry me" bit and all gaydom breaks loose..

Just imagine me standing in a black cocktail dress, glass of champers in hand, Carl sitting on a bar stool, talking to me and Rick leaning over to Carl and running his hands through Carl's hair and saying "ARE YOU SURE YOU"RE NOT GAY??? because I think you are, and I need to know these things if you're going to marry D, as I know D's dad very well.. you have no idea who he is... " Carl looks at me, I'm grinning and I think payback time!! Rick's all ready to speed dial Dad up, Ian at this point is muttering in my ear ... ( "says he the one night stand that never left!" ) I cover my mouth as I choke down the laughter!  I watch Carl act his way out of this little pickle!... he's good... very good... but that doesn't mean he's off the hook!

Ian has had enough and says "come on, come back to my place we can drink there and have a chat." So that is what we did, and after Carl and Jacqui left , I stayed on and chatted into the wee hours of the morning with Ian about matters of the heart, mind and soul. If only he was straight, I'd marry him in a heart beat... now how many times have you heard a straight woman say that about a gay man??? ... thought so...
... Dx

I do this for you my friend

To say that I have a small hangover would be quite an understatement... who needs to do damage with wine in France when one can do it here very easily...aspirins I love you, you are my bestest friends.. hic.. ooppss..
Well I knew my FORMER best friend Gina would bunk out on me last night. Since Louis is in Italy, one would think she'd be partying like before, but no..

So I rock into the Hilton hotel and the valet tells me the doo is on the 6th floor in the ballroom .. I'm double checking OK, as I'm on my own, don't want to walk into someones wedding and have to sit with some strange folk eating some exotic 6 course meal just to be polite!
Anyway I head up and get stuck in the lift with not one .. oh no.. that would have been too kind, but about 8 very very and very (did I say very?) smelly sweaty people, even my perfume couldn't overpower the reek of b.o.(what is it with the no showering after walking around in the heat and sweating like a horse deal?) They're  asking me "omm were is der pardy?" "we would like to come as well" .. I'm doing a Mr bean impersonation in the lift and looking at the numbers on the panel holding my breath, trying not to look like I understand engrrisshh!

Phew! I think as the lift doors open, I step out and flee!  I try to saunter in to the function room gracefully, I'm wearing a bright fuchsia dress with soft pink flowers on it and beading, it's cut pretty ... well.. low.. so I've got to stand straight.. in case .. you know what( overexposed cleavage .. not a pretty sight) .. anyway..So I'm sauntering in and girls at the reception table are looking at me with those polite glazed over looks
"and you are?" asks the petite door girl
Deep breath, very low voice " I'm D x "..
"oh".. quick scurrying.. and I get tagged.. with a paper band around my wrist that says VIP.. what? what? viper in progress? very iggy pop??

So I head to the entrance and the photographer is clicking away at a couple and I'm told to wait.  You know when you do that one two step to try to move forward and you have to step back coz of on coming traffic?? That was me and I wasn't line dancing!  So anyway photographer finishes and I'm about to step in and she 's looking at me with this question mark on her face. I put her out of her misery "it's OK, no need for pics, I'm on my own, I'll just go straight in .." jeez... ya think being single is akin to being a leper nowdays!

I slowly walk through looking for my old class mate who was the co organiser of this event. What a former hot shot Lawyer who was also titled , is doing in Events now is totally beyond me, but I'm sure I'll get an explanation eventually.
There is no one I recognise, I keep on walking till I get to the bar at the end of the room and at the last island table is Wanda, an editor of a new and upcoming magazine, she's standing there with her girlfriend and giving me a cheesy grin. "Hey!" "Where HAVE you been?" Wanda was one of the regulars at Bar Blond when I used to go there for drinks with the girls or for the Blond Idol nights. I air kiss her cheeks and say " I've given up going out for lent" She introduces me to her girlfriend, I notice they're both wearing the same necklaces.. how cute..

I turn to get a drink off the waiter's tray and Stephan rolls up to me with his usual cheeky smile. Stephan is a journalist as well, whom I've known since my radio days, he used to write articles about us when we were in the biz.. "D, since you're in the line of work and all that, do you have any MTV post party passes?"
"Pardon?" I say
"post party passes? " he says again. (Try saying post party passes really fast 10 times..)
........
I look at Steven and say "why would you think I'd have any and , who'd want to go?"
"I would" Stephan says..
Sigh, he's still so Billboard's Hot 10 Hits. Anyway, it's the usual move and schmooze, and I'm standing at the table thinking,if it wasn't for my ol school chum, I'd be at home, online to Ana, having a cackle. I'm supposed to have given up smoking but I really need a fag now and I'm talking the smoking kind.. .  Wanda goes off with her girl friend and says she'll be back, and for me to not go inside the main ball room without her.   OooK. I'm the rock that everyone clings too today...
Stephan says he'll be back in a sec, he's decided to hang around me tonight as I'm on my own... repeat line.. I'm the rock they everyone is clinging to today...

The moment they step away, a load of Singaporeans come up to the table I'm standing at, I mean out of the dozens of tables around the foyer of the ballroom, WHY my table?? And have you noticed how utterly utterly DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE the Singaporean accent is? (I have nothing against them.. realllyyyyy  *innocent look*)   AND boy are they LOUD!! after talking over me and around me one of them says, "sorry ah, if we're a bit loud" Well , not one to mince with my words, I say " Yes , a BIT loud" sarcastically.   I think he gets miffed at the "ice out" from me and steps away. . I text Stephan and say "get your butt back here, I will not deal with dickheads alone"

He's back in 2 mins and says "c'mon lets schmooze around," it's amazing the things one sees when one is out. Who's going out with whom, who's having an affair with whom, who's got TERRIBLE taste in clothes, who wears TOO little.( why do we waste so much time doing all this?? aAgood DVD at home would have been so much more pleasant  or throwing peanuts at the tv whilst watching the Kardashians!) I'm grinning away and doing the "hello dahhhlinkk, how are youuuu," bit and finally spot my ol school chum, she's got a walkie talkie in one hand, a pda in the other and a frown on her forehead.
"HEY! " "WOMAN"! I shout at her, her eyes open wide and she grins at me and mouths "I'll be with you in a sec!"

The main doors open for the show, you got your usual gyrating girls in little wee shorts and boob tubes with lit torches and what not.  Yeah, yeah I'm thinking, whoopdee doo, and start heading to the island table closest to the bar with Stephan and Wanda, who've found me along the way, and park myself there for the rest of the night, well for the next hour and half anyway.

While the show is going on, I'm getting texts from Sam who is Gina's golfing buddy
" Oi D, get your fat ass down here, we've got drinks at the bar" He's at Zee bar one floor down with James who's also a golfing buddy but also Gina's and my lawyer.
I text back " Is Gina there?"
Sam replies " Louis calling her house phone to check on her eh"
which means NO! he he he, ah women... what can I say.

People are coming up to greet me, I think I must have used most of my tube of lip gloss from all the cheeks I kissed, some man of unknown origins walks past me and says "you must go and thank your parents for your features... " HUH? what was that all about? My butt gets patted and I turn around and it's Jingles, a musician friend of mine from London, his lovely black hair in tiny plats,
"oi oi", I say,
"D, corr you look gorgeous luv, where's Gina? "
I say "At home in bed man, she's getting lazy about going out"
He says "yeah, did she tell you I bumped into her and her man"
we both roll our eyes and he dashes off to play the next set on stage.

My old school chum comes over eventually, as she was the only reason I came to this do, and introduced me to her husband, and family members and then dragged over some other old school chums and there was much hugging and squeals of delight and catching up going on ( I was in an all girls school prior to leaving my country)

I realised it was time to go when one of the ministers with his very 'horrible head rug' was standing very close by.   I was eventually introduced to him " Yes yes he says, "we've met many times, but I'm afraid to come and say hello with all your boyfriends around" and holds his hands up and pretends to tremble. " Oh ha ha ha" I laugh politely, and pinch my girlfriend for introducing him, yes I've met him twice before, under official circumstances, in his office, and NOT at social gatherings..
I turn to Stephan to tell him I'm going, and he says "relax D, stay just a little longer please, the music is getting good" Stephen has, for most of the night, been trying to find some girl I introduced him to, whom he has endearingly referred to as "the big kajongas girl" I can't remember who she is. and in between his search he's been bopping around me! Sigh, "OK" just a bit, as I have to go downstairs to meet some friends"

More of my girlfriends are standing around me, and as I look around to catch a waiter when I lock eyes with this very cute Chinese guy, who grins at me, umm.. I smile back... OK.. I always get confused when Chinese guys do this to me as I always think I must be the last person in the world they'd be attracted to, as my features are the polar opposite of theirs. I get my drink, more introductions, clinking of glasses and as I look up,  cute oriental guy is looking at me from his table, he's got a lovely Armani suit on, open crisp cotton white shirt and obviously weight lifts.  He still smiling at me, I'm intrigued, then he , get this, he crooks his finger at me to beckon me over! I turn around grab my bag, say goodbye to all at the table, tell them to say goodbye to Stephan as he's off again, and zoom out of the ballroom quick to Zee bar.
HE HE HE escape! I mean, hello, crook your finger at ME???? uh huh.my mother taught my brothers more manners than that thank goodness..

I head in to Zee bar looking for the culprits who sent me such rude texts,  and find Sam and James at the usual corner of the bar we stand at,  they are with two really cute bubbly girls.  James asks me what I want to drink, and I say water, he looks at me and says "D, I said a DRINK!!"
Ok ok, I tell him red wine, I get both, water and red wine, I drink the water down as I've got to drive home and don't want to be tiddled driving.

Sam's got some friends at the bar as well, one of them has got Sam's shirt sleeve stuffed in his mouth as he's staring at me, James looks at him, rolls his eyes and says to me, "here D, let me introduce you to Ben" I laugh and say hello, and then James introduced me to the rest of them, they turn out to be the devil incarnate, as I'm trying to sober up they're trying to get me more drinks! We're all giggling about Gina and her self imposed exile from the club. The guys are dancing with their girlies on the dance floor, then they're swinging me around on the dance floor, and after the second glass of wine that has been pressed into my hand, James says 'c'mon lets go", as it's getting late and some guys are paying me unwanted attention. I get home in one piece, James calls to check if I've made in back OK, and I crash out thinking I always have a much better time with my mates just having a few and a laugh, now I know why I don't want to go out to rara doos anymore.. IT"S TIRING!!! Dx

France Final

Sigh... My last bottle of red from the Luberon valley, my last dinner in France, .. everytime I think of having to get on those planes to go back I start to feel nervous.. but Malaysia is calling.. I have to go back, have to face my life there. I've had a tremendous time, more than I had expected..
the Italian interior gardens are very similar to balinese and thai houses, all you see are cement facades and big wooden carved doors, but once the doors are open it's like eden inside.. they really know how to landscape their bit of earth. give me a beautiful house of wood and glass by the beach, with drift wood pieces and I'll be happy or a ranch style house nestled in a lush valley with aztec carpets and throws on big overstuffed couches with terracotta floors on the verandah and varnished wood flooring inside...
Downloading all my songs that Ana likes on to her pen drive (once a DJ.. etc)

France fourth impressin

I said to Ana, it's weird today I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach as we were driving into Aix, she said she felt like I was looking at everything for the first time with my eyes wide open. And you know what.. I am, I've finally realised who I am, what I want and where I am heading and that with the strength in me that I've come to understand I know I'm going to start really jetting ahead with my life.

I finally closed all the chapters in my life that were holding me back and I'm so excited about what the future holds, if any of this can make sense at all to you. I guess being away from all my normal daily troubles and stresses has made me see clearly from afar. So hello world, I'm back. (you must think I'm right nut!)

The Mistral blew it's icy wind upon us yesterday, making us feel chilled to the bone but did not deter us from zipping around and checking out the villages around the Luberon. I do like the country , it's peaceful and moves at it's own pace. I told Ana I have to go back to NZ to see it again, to see how I feel, if it still captivates me like it did a couple of years ago, and then I'l make my final decision... When you decide to do something and start the wheel turning everything seems to fall into place.
Two more days to enjoy total freedom, here's looking at ya. Sante DX

France third impression

After walking the dogs (Ana has two) for an hour along the small french roads which meandered around some vinyards, we came back and flaked out, it's so damn hot! Popped off after two to go into town and have a coffee and do even more shopping.. not me, Ana, I just got this lovely charm bracelet with little angles of Puyvert dangling sweetly from it. We have to time ourselves because like Spain the shops close till 3 in the afternoon! Oh what is a shopaholic to do!

We went a little mad at the butchers as I opened my big mouth and said I felt like sausages, (yes yes I know I don't look like one... arghhh old joke!) so we've got one of each! god knows how two women are going to plough through it all! The question is whether I have the energy to bbq them tonight or will just saute them in olive oil, which is abundant in this place, there are olive trees everywhere!

I'll be sadly leaving France on the 16th, Ana is determined to make me change my mind about moving to NZ and to France instead, she's already started to ply me with links for residency applications! he he he...

Am having my first glass of rose as I'm typing this, and hoping yet again that my jet lag won't get the best of me, I mean I do enjoy sitting out on the patio looking at the stars at 4 am, but it's hell on the energy levels. My mother called me from the Uk and told me I was pathetic for having my lag this long.. my mum is one tough bird.

as you can see from the pic well past the blurry bits.. we did the sausages! Dx